Cornwall Blog

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I am writing this new all singing all dancing, upgraded, streamlined blog from Cornwall. More precisely Perranporth. Even more precisely from the Ponsmere Hotel, room 224. The usual ‘Indian Summer’ has deserted us and we are presented with a vista of sea fret and drizzle. The hotel is a cross between Fawlty Towers and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. There seems to be a running theme of hotels where we stay and their relationship to films starring Jack Nicholson (see Honeymoon Blog)….? Unfortunately Cornwall in the wet with grey skies is not a great place and with the surf blown out too it means there is very little to do without getting soaked.

We travelled slightly north east towards St Austell and to the Eden Project. This isn’t the cheapest place to visit but the view from the entrance is very impressive. Massive half golf ball type domes and acres and acres of plants. We followed the zig zag path to the ‘Rainforest’ dome, taking in the Cornish culture information signs and getting soaked on the way; it was that fine rain that soaks you through. Once we got into the dome we de-robed and then got soaked due to the humidity! C’est la vie. Half way round and Elle decided she’d had enough of having to read the signs explaining the different plants and felt that museums that told you the story or let you watch a film were better – like JackaNackaNory! I had to agree but not on that, I feel that although the Eden project is good and yes it’s all about conservation and re-generation of previous sites that have been decimated by man/woman (I’m all about equality when blame is the issue) what it really lacks are animals and/or dinosaurs. Lets face it, Jurassic Park without the dinosaurs would have just been like Gardeners World BC. Wild animals offer that slight edge of danger, mystique and wonder. Not all wild animals mind you, obviously a wild rabbit or sloth offer limited wonder and more boredom factor.

After we finished with the Eden Project we ventured to Newquay. Hmmm what to say abut Newquay. Well it’s a bit like Redcar with loads of amusements, shops selling stuff you don’t need like hoodies that on the back say ‘Life Guard’ (prepare for rant). What is it with people that buy these things? Fair enough if you are a child under 10 then yes it’s quite cute and there is an under lying important lesson about awareness and about the perils of the sea but it is completely unacceptable for anyone over this age to wear them. Especially a married couple with a his and hers grey and blue efforts. Even more especially of you are the female half of this matrimonial partnership and you are in fact not endowed with the body of Pamela Anderson and a body not un-similar to Giant Haystacks. A more accurate appendage to have stencilled on the back would be ‘Life Guard’s Burden’ and an even more accurate appendage would have been ‘Whale Fish’.

We got pasties and sat in the car over looking Fistral Beach. Elle thought I was taking my rant about ‘Life Guard’ hoodies a bit far and had walked off when we passed the couple and I had loudly said “Blimp!”. Although I couldn’t see Elle’s face I knew she’d be secretly grinning with pride.

Although the weather is a bit depressing and dreary my mood has picked up since a few weekends ago – might be the Doom Bar. I even went for a run on the beach this morning. I have been getting the occasional anxiety attack but I am use to these and they begin to get monotonous. I was listening the the king monkey man and lead singer of without doubt the most influential band in the last 30yrs, Mr Ian Brown and his song F.E.A.R. The lyrics are a clever play on the word FEAR and each line of lyrics uses it to formulate a statement…
“For everyman a religion, Face everybody and rule, Fantastic expectations  amazing revelations….etc.” I’ve tried to find out if the song has any meaning and all that the t’internet says is its just a clever play on the acronym of FEAR. I however would like to think it means something different – to me anyway.

With anxiety and depression unfortunately I got the FEAR and it manifests itself in all manner of different ways depending on how it catches me. When my ‘black dog’ arrives if I’m not prepared then it will leap on me, slober, fart on me and then leave hairs that I’m finding days after I think he’s gone. By accepting I have the FEAR I can now as Mr Brown has done change its form to something less threatening and productive. Out of all the lyrics in the song a few resonate with me and they can almost become like mantras.

“Forget everything and remember” – I like this. To me personally it means forget this current depression anxiety stuff that’s getting you down and remember the good times not long ago when you were taking over the world.

“Final execution and resurrection” – again executing this low mood business and resurrecting a the new slightly bruised and bashed but ultimately smart Carlson-Oakes.

“Fantastic expectations, amazing revelations” – says it all really.

Anyway I don’t want to get too heavy or preachy but that’s where I am just now. In fact that’s not true, where I am right now is in the Watering Hole on Perranporth Beach and the rain lashes and the Atlantic wind blows a gale – we moved from the hotel just after the Jack Nicholson paragraph. Elle is nursing an extravagant hot chocolate with all the trimmings and I am carefully sinking a Doom Bar.

Take chums, see you on the flip side.

For Everything A Reason

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One thought on “Cornwall Blog

  1. Very interesting Ben really hope it helps .but remember you have a family who love very much and will always be there for you xxx

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